Making Memories in the Midwest

I am so excited to share this session with you! When we received their application, we knew this would be a fun and meaningful session. The Scharnau family is a family of 6 - Gregg, the dad, is fighting stage 4 pancreatic cancer, while his wife Susan and their four children support his journey. For confidentiality, we will not be showing any of the kids faces or sharing their names, but we want you to know they are all AMAZING! 

Gregg is no stranger to cancer. Over twenty years ago, he was diagnosed with leukemia. His sister was a match and donated her bone marrow to help him. Susan met him shortly after his recovery, which is when she found out she was a bone marrow donor match for someone else. Gregg went with her for the procedure and she was able to help someone else. I tell you this part of the story because I hope it inspires you to become a donor. It's easy to sign up, they'll contact you if you're ever a match, and then you can help save someone's life - someone like Gregg. 

Unfortunately, researchers haven't made as much progress against pancreatic cancer, but as I had the honor to be with the Scharnau family over the weekend, I know that if anyone could beat stage 4 pancreatic cancer it would be Gregg. He's already fought hard for over a year since being diagnosed and is continuing chemo as long as it's working. As you'll see in the photos, it may have taken his hair, but it hasn't taken his smile and his love for his family. 

The first day together, it worked out that Gregg's parents could drive across town to visit for the afternoon. The sun was shining, there was a cool breeze, and you could feel fall in the air. The local park had a beautiful flower bed and a gazebo nestled under some large trees. As Gregg and his Dad stood in front of the gazebo, I couldn't help but feel as if they were somehow rooted among the trees too - giants of men full of character and love. As Gregg walked with his mom down the path, her face lit up with a love that only comes from a mom. We had a wonderful afternoon together before heading back to the house to wait for the kids to come home from school. 

That evening, it ended up raining so instead of doing an outdoor session together, we hung out and thankfully had another day to wait for good weather. It was rather chilly the next day, but the sun came out and we were able to photograph each of the kids in their element and have fun doing some one on one sessions. We went out as a family that evening to the local football field since Gregg was a punter back in the day. We took pictures of everyone having fun together before doing some more formal family portraits. The kids went over to the playground so I could get a few shots with just Gregg and Susan. It can get emotional during sessions, but that's when the love comes pouring out and it's just beautiful. 

People always ask me how I can do what I do - and it's photographing people like Gregg & Susan and their family that make it easy. Sure, the reason why we are all coming together sucks so badly, but to see the love, bravery, and courage to keep fighting is inspiring. And I know these photos can make a difference and they will help make things a little better. As with most hard things in life, we treated ourselves to ice cream after our session :) That night, we had a bonfire where Susan's brother joined us and then it was time for me to go home the next day. 

I was so grateful the cheapest flights allowed me to stay an entire weekend with this incredible family. The hardest part about my job is falling in love with the families I travel to photograph and then having to go back home so far away. I would be lying if I told you I don't miss hanging out with Nicolette and her family in CT, Andrea and her sons in NY, Kim & his girls in CA, and more. I can only hope our paths will cross again. 

Summertime Session Sneak Peek

A few months ago, I left to go to California to meet with the team at Zen Hospice. I learned about Zen Hospice after watching a TED talk given by BJ Miller about designing for death. I was so inspired, I wanted to see the place for myself. They have an incredible program and I wanted to learn as much as I could from them. On my way to San Francisco, I was able to make a stop to meet a wonderful family. 

Many of you know my daughter had SMA, a terminal condition that is similar to ALS. We met many other SMA parents on Facebook and enjoyed getting to know families all over the US and abroad. One such parent contacted me about wanting to help Love Not Lost - his name is Kim. 

Kim is an incredible person who I am so honored to know. He started a children's nursing home years ago, and when that wasn't meeting all the needs, he started a children's hospice center. When there still weren't enough beds, he and his wife opened up their home and adopted several severely handicapped kids, including a beautiful girl with SMA. Kim offered to help me with some literature for our training program since he established the nursing home and hospice and has traveled on speaking circuits leading talks about grief. I was happy to have his help and we arranged to meet. 

While I was there, I offered to do a portrait session with their family. Kim brought two of his daughters to the park with him to meet me for the session. Not everyone could be there, but it was really fun to capture some sisterly love and preserve those memories for them. The joy in their faces just exploded as they chased each other around the park, met new friends, played with friendly dogs, and even tried to sneak on the soccer field to play with a team that was practicing. 

We had so much fun and are so excited to share these memories with you:

As we continued on to San Francisco, we met the Zen Hospice team and toured their facility which is beautiful. They are so intentional, thoughtful, and kind. We are so excited to go back and visit them in 2017 to go through one of their trainings as we prepare to launch our own training. Feel free to follow along our journeys on social media @lovenotlostorg 

A New York Mom & Her Two Sons...

As soon as we received Andrea's application, we knew we were going to New York. 

Three years ago, she was diagnosed with metastatic breast cancer that had spread through her nodes into her bones in three places. Since then, she's been through four surgeries, nine biopsies, five core bone biopsies, radiation, and daily medication. Her application told us all of this, but then we got to this line, 

I have 2 beautiful sons-- 16 & 13. We have never had a professional photo shoot. I would love to have our loving relationship memorialized.

I picked up the phone and gave Andrea a call. As I spoke with her, she shared that she grew up on Long Island, her treatment is in the city, and they are New Yorkers through and through. They love doing things outside so we decided that we could hang out in Central Park together and then head to Long Island to try to get some photos there as well. 

Meeting in Central Park on a Friday afternoon proved to be quite challenging, but once we connected, I was able to meet Andrea, and her two sons, Liam and Ross. The day was hot, but luckily Central Park is full of big beautiful trees that provided shade as we walked around, climbed on rocks, and stopped for a treat at one of the ice cream stands that were scattered throughout the park. 

As the sun started getting lower in the sky, we had the crazy idea to try to get to the beach on Long Island to catch the sunset. Had we known how bad traffic was going to be, we would've stayed put, but it was worth the try! We ended up missing the sunset, but stopped off at one of their hangout spots on Long Island in the dark to get some last memories captured. 

Before I met Andrea in person, it was obvious through our conversation the love she has for her sons and the strength she has as a woman. Once we started our session, it was even sweeter to see that love come out during our photo shoot and shared with her sons. You'll see they are crazy about her too! 

Andrea makes it a point to do something fun with her sons every month to make memories and remember that it's relationships and experiences that matter. Andrea lives by the philosophy that the purpose of life is to make a difference... to make your time on earth matter. She made it a point to remind her sons of this towards the end of our session and told me that living with cancer has made that philosophy even more purposeful. We hope you enjoy the highlights from our NY portrait session with Andrea, Liam, and Ross and use this as a reminder to make the most of your time while you have it. 

We are so excited to get their book into their hands. Thank you to all who have donated to Love Not Lost thus far. Your generosity has enabled us to fly to NY for this session to preserve memories for this incredible family. Thank you for celebrating life and love with us in the face of grief through Love Not Lost. 

We have more families who are waiting for sessions and we will be traveling to Iowa and Wisconsin next month to capture two of our next applicants. We can't travel to these families and capture their memories without your generous support. If you haven't joined our crowdfunding campaign yet, there are a few days left - would you please consider giving to help us reach more people facing a terminal diagnosis? You can also become a monthly donor or give a one-time gift on our website. Please join our cause by donating money or sharing our story with those you know. Thank you!

Meet Nicolette and Her Family in CT

Yesterday was incredible! We raised over $2,300 dollars in one day for our crowdfunding campaign to honor Skylar and remember the anniversary of her death 5 years ago. Yesterday, I was able to share more about my story, but today, I want to focus on someone else's story. Nicolette is one of our Love Not Lost family members who applied for a portrait session and asked for a "forever memory" for her son after finding out she had stage 4 cancer. 

The first time we spoke on the phone, I could tell Nicolette was an incredibly strong woman. She told me about her mom getting diagnosed with breast cancer, and then two months later, facing the same diagnosis herself. She had a mastectomy and a full hysterectomy in the course of a year, and was in remission. Five months later, the cancer came back in her lungs. Almost a year later, she had a seizure, which is when they found tumors on her brain. She's in her mid 30s and has an 8 year old son with autism. You'd think after all of this, someone would be beat down, but Nicolette's attitude on life is inspiring. Not only is she living life and enjoying it with her family, but she is helping other women in her area who are going through similar situations. 

Nicolette's son, Ivan, and her fiance, Frank, love the outdoors, so we wanted to make sure our session was outside. We also took some pictures at the house, which is what brought Frank and Nicolette together, and where they enjoy hanging out. We planned our session for when Ivan was out of school and were lucky to have a weekend with good weather too! 

If you follow us on social media, you may have seen two photos of them already. What I love about photography is the ability to capture emotion, relationships, and the ability to freeze moments in time. Looking at this family, there is no doubt they are overflowing with joy and love. I don't think I've ever laughed so hard during a session! Ivan, Nicolette's son, is one of the funniest kids I've met. His dry sense of humor was cracking me up so much a few of my pictures came out blurry because I was shaking from laughter. 

Ivan was cracking jokes, sharing how he didn't have to impress me at all because even though I was a new guest, I was not someone he was going to marry. He did draw me a picture though, which I cherish tremendously. He played it cool, would flash me a smirk, and then would give me his huge cheese face for the photos. We played with the pets on the porch, Ivan showed me how fast he can ride his bike, and then we took off to the corn fields for sunset. I hope you smile as much as I do when looking through these memories... 

This family has a long journey ahead. If you want to read more of their personal story and donate directly to them, please visit their support page on Go Fund Me. 

We are so excited to get their book into their hands. Thank you to all who have donated to Love Not Lost thus far. Your generosity has enabled us to fly to CT for this session to preserve memories for this incredible family. Thank you for celebrating life and love with us in the face of grief. We have several more families across the nation who are waiting for sessions and will keep you posted when we're able to serve them. 

If you haven't supported Love Not Lost yet, we have a crowdfunding campaign going on through the month of August so we can raise money to help us photograph more families and build our network of photographers. Please consider joining our cause by donating money or sharing our story with those you know. Thank you!

It's Been 5 Years... Will You Join Us Today?

It's been 5 years since I had to face my worst fear, the moment I dreaded most. On August 16, 2011, I held Skylar while my husband supported her head, and we felt her sweet little lungs take their last breath. Then she was gone.

It was my first intimate meeting with death. I had seen the aftermath at many memorial services, but I had never been present when death came until that moment. That began my long-term relationship with death. It would visit me several more times over the next couple of years as I was present with people who would breathe their last. But that's okay. You know why? Because I've learned I can take a little bit of the sting away from death and that brings me joy.

I've found in losing many people I have loved, that comfort comes in the form of photographs. Not just digital ones either. At every memorial service I have been to (and unfortunately I have been to a lot), there has been some form of printed photo as a way to remember. Seeing the person alive, even if in a moment frozen in time by a picture, brings peace, comfort, good memories, and a reminder of the love we shared with that person - a reminder our love isn't lost.

From my own personal experience, and talking to the loved ones of those I have photographed who have already passed on, I know that photographs are an incredible gift to help through the grief and healing process. They give you a tangible thing to touch and give you permission to be whatever you need to be in that moment, whether it's saying that you miss them out loud or having a good cry when no one else is around. 

Photos have allowed me to share my daughter, Skylar, with you. They have allowed a sweet little girl the ability to meet her big brother who is no longer living. They have allowed two beautiful children to interact every day with their daddy who lost his life to cancer. They have allowed parents to hold onto their child after they buried her. They have helped a mom feel validated on Mother's Day after her baby was no longer in her womb or in her arms. They have helped a mom celebrate the love she shares with her family and the time she has left. Memories matter. Photographs matter. People we love matter.

We want to help preserve memories for more people on a national level, but to do that, we need your help. You may have seen that we are in the middle of a crowdfunding campaign. Today, 5 years after Skylar left my arms forever, we have a goal to raise $5,000. I know raising $5k in a day seems crazy, but we know there are generous people out there who care about people in grief and believe that everyone deserves to be remembered. Will you join us in contributing any amount you are able to? Will you help us share our story? Will you help us reach our goal so we can start adding to our photographers to serve people across the nation?

Because of photos, I have so many precious memories preserved - how I really hated the color pink until Skylar looked so dang cute in it, how she would always hold my finger and squeeze it (which we called hand hugs since she couldn't move her arms), and how she would always look up at me with her big beautiful deep blue eyes full of wisdom and love, which I will always treasure. And the best part of all, these photos allow me to share them with you - even 5 years after she has been gone!

Please help me give this same gift to others! Support our campaign. 

If you aren't able to donate, we would be so grateful if you could help us spread the word. Every share on social media, a mention to friends in conversation, or direct message to people you think would care about our mission is HUGE. Visit us on social media @lovenotlostorg for content to share and re-post.

We can't do this without your help and hope you'll join us in celebrating life and love in the face of grief. 

Thank you so much - let's make August 16th a great day!

We Launched Our Crowd Funding Campaign!

We are so excited to share with you that we launched our crowd funding campaign for the month of August and hope you will join us with Generosity! 

Funds raised from this crowd funding campaign will help us start scaling as a national organization and we'd love for you to join us in helping make that happen. 

Thanks to Burden Bearing Baskets, we have a fun hand-written calligraphy logo that you can get on a variety of products to show your support and help us share our story! We've partnered with Miir to bring you the best for your on-the-go beverages that will not only benefit Love Not Lost but help water projects around the world. 

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Why Crowd Funding?

As much as we love throwing a good party, a physical event limits the number of people who can come. Because we are nearing a milestone of starting to scale and expand across the US, we want everyone to have the opportunity to join us in making it happen. 

Will you help us share our story?

Whether you choose to support the campaign financially, we need all the help we can get in spreading the word about what we're doing. Will you please take a moment to post on Facebook and share our campaign? If you like Instagram or Twitter better, that's cool too! 

Here's an image you can use to share:

Thank you in advance for all of your support and generous giving. We truly can not do this without you!

Launch Party Highlights

For those of you who joined us on April 30th for our launch, we want to say thank you. Janet Howard Studios, a dear photographer friend of mine, volunteered to capture our memories together that night and we are so excited to share them with you! 

If you weren’t able to make it, keep reading and join us in re-living some of the moments from our launch…

To make this launch party possible, it took a lot of sponsors and donors who were willing to generously give to support our mission.

We’d like to thank our “Life Sponsors”

Steven & Denise Jones

Les Stumpff & Sandy Moon

And we’d like to thank our “Love Sponsors”

Trinity Anglican Mission

Wilson Parker Homes

Institute For Higher Living

Their generous sponsorships allowed us to have such a successful event. 

It all started with a very unwelcome party crasher. A wicked storm decided to drop in just 30 minutes before we started the party to rattle the power, throw some hail, trash some trees, and rain cats and dogs. Thankfully, it didn’t scare our guests out of coming, and we had valet to keep everyone as dry as possible at Trinity Surfaces Design Gallery! 

The storm passed almost as quickly as it came and we all enjoyed champagne, wine, and beer with some tasty food by Epicurean Endeavors to get our evening started right. Peachtree Tents & Events and Fuji Floral helped us create a beautiful atmosphere as we shopped items and enjoyed the gallery wall of canvases donated by Canvas For A Cause. We even had custom Love Not Lost cookies thanks to Sweet Cheats! After I gave a proper welcome, we let the bidding wars begin. We had a silent auction as well as a live auction, and things heated up real fast. There’s just something about an auctioneer that gets the party going! Once the last item was “Sold!” to the highest bidder, the mic was passed back to me so I could share more about Love Not Lost. 

I shared my story, the stories of people I’ve photographed over the past 7 years, and how it all led to the start of Love Not Lost. I also shared the story of our first applicant, and how just the day before, I photographed her precious baby girl as they said goodbye. Tears were streaming, but it was a beautiful thing to celebrate the official start of photographing under the name Love Not Lost the same weekend as our launch party. I shared the vision I have for the future of our organization and gave an update on where we are now. The short version is this:

We have 6 more applicants, all over the US, with more expected with upcoming publication features. We are building a grief training program so that we can invite other photographers to help us capture and preserve memories all over the nation. For every session photographed, we want to treat our photographers to wellness so they can keep serving with us longterm. We also premiered the promo video, which now has a permanent place on our homepage and on YouTube. 

Knowing we can’t do this alone, and we need financial help, we asked our guests for support. The people at the party rallied, and we were able to raise over $26,000 which is almost half way to our goal for the year! We were blown away and humbled with the generous hearts that filled the room that night. 

If you weren't able to attend our party and want to help us, there are a few ways you can get involved this month: 

We are currently working on building our foundation builders, people who are willing to give monthly donations, so we can have a solid base to work and plan from. If this is something you are interested in, please visit our donation page and sign up to give right now or help us recruit people who can. 

Later this month, we'll start traveling to serve our waiting applicants. If you have any travel connections that would be willing to help us with flights, hotels, or rental cars, please let us know through our contact form. 

Lastly, we need to get the word out now that we're 501c3 official and gaining momentum. Will you take a minute to share our story with your network of people? Maybe you know of a publication or news station that would like to feature us for a positive story... Any help spreading the word is greatly appreciated!

We truly can't do this alone. Thank you for your support - for cheering us on, for your likes, comments, shares, and re-posts. Thank you for your financial gifts. Thank you for your donations and introductions you've given. This is something much bigger than just you or me and we need all the help we can get! Thank you, from the bottom of our hearts.